Meditations

by ellen cherry

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released January 1, 2018

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about

ellen cherry Baltimore, Maryland

Emmy nominated singer/songwriter ellen cherry (lowercase letters intentional!) is a full-time touring and working performer based in Baltimore, MD. In 2017, ellen presents a new touring project called Portraits in Song that marries her love of storytelling and her passion for history through songs and portraits of interesting women in history to increase love and empathy for all. ... more

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Track Name: I Am Free
I am free to make mistakes
Thank you very much
I am free to choose my path
And the things i hold and touch
I am free to lay aside The chains that scrape and tie me
To bend and bear the heavy weight it is
To be so free

I am free to bind my wrist
And refuse the hands of time
I am free to separate
What is yours from what is mine
I am free to waste
the precious hours That I have
I am free to drink and dance and cry and play and laugh

I’m free
I am free

I am free to change my mind
As I change my clothes
I am free to hide away
In places no one ever goes
I am free to sing when my the song commands me to
I am free to take the steps
And walk away from you

I am free to float away
Into the winter sky
I am free to tell the truth
Even if it is a lie
I am free to burn it down
Instead of letting go
I am free to say good bye As easy as hello

I’m free
I am free
Track Name: Something Dull That Must Be Abandoned
please forgive me don't forget me
always worry, don't you let me
keep on breathing, keep on thinking
always writing, always singing
heavy burden, make it smaller
chin up, back straight, walking taller!

This is the dream of the frightened, the scared, the scolded, the badgered, the sad, the unprepared. Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare, but something dull that must be abandoned.

looking inward, light is beaming
only sleeping, never dreaming
let the season pass you by
let the knots become untied
you might fear you're left behind
had to be cruel to be kind.

This is the dream of the frightened, the scared, the scolded, the badgered, the sad, the unprepared. Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare, but something dull that must be abandoned.

keep on breathing, keep on thinking
always writing, always singing

keep on breathing, keep on thinking
always writing, always singing

keep on breathing, keep on thinking
always writing, always singing

something dull that must be abandoned
Track Name: Maybe (Ver 1.0)
Maybe I could spend two years
Feeling sorry for myself
Maybe I could shift the blame
to someone else
Maybe I could give my love away
I'd give it all for free
Maybe I'll forget again to save
Some of it for me

First I filled my own two hands
with all these lonely tears
Then I dug a canyon
and filled it up with years
After all that time
the only thing I learned
Was how to set a love on fire
and how to let it burn

Close your eyes
Take my hands
Hear these words
Understand
It's no lie
There's no plan
Fly like birds
'Cause we can

Maybe you were wondering
Maybe you might know
How hard it was for me to stay
how hard it was to go
Remember when you said nothing?
It came so easily
Maybe you had changed the locks
Maybe I lost my key

Close your eyes
Take my hands
Hear these words
Understand
It's no lie
There's no plan
Fly like birds
'Cause we can

Maybe I could think your thoughts
Then worry you'd be right
Maybe I could think all day
and then I'd think all night
Maybe I could spend two years
Never standing still
Maybe you'll forgive me soon
Maybe you never will
Track Name: Plain Old Texas
The local news said we were battered we were bruised
All my friends with their hands over their heads
Kiss the floor out in the hall
While the wind
Howls like an angry dog
Outside the wall
I never felt small

It was fine it was good living neighborhood
All the doors they were open and unlocked
The television on with the Monkees on the screen
Telling me that they believed
This was the 1970s

Ten years go
And then ten more
Spaceships explode
We our lock our doors

I could not stop the smashing crashing culture shock
Like a storm twisting roots up from the ground
It wasn’t only my hometown
That felt chaotic, disarrayed and the rumble of a change
So confusing and so strange

My new address
Same as before
Oh what a mess
We lock our doors

Ten years fly
And then ten more
We don’t ask why
We lock our doors
We don’t ask why
We lock our doors
Track Name: Walking On A Straight Line (Demo Oct 2018)
Walking On A Straight Line
Oct 2018

I am sorry that I said that I am sorry
So so many times
You must forgive me as I wander
On a path that is a circle
In my mind.
I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line
As I always planned
It never matters where I go because I always end up
Just where I began

Walking on a straight line
The saddest soul you’ll ever meet
Walking on a straight line
Guess I’ll just repeat

I have used up all my ink in writing novels of my wrongs and my regrets
This is helpful to remind me and to never allow me to forget
If I let go what would i do with all these hidden heavy bags of shame?
They are my first place trophies to show you that I can be the winner of this game

Walking on a straight line
Sparked a flame so blue it burns
Walking on a straight line
It’s okay, i’ll never learn

Walking on a straight line
I could leave the past behind
Walking on a straight line
I roll the tape and I rewind


I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line quickly as I can
It never matters where I go because I always end up just where I began
Track Name: Hamamatsu (A Worker's Hands) [Demo Oct 2018]
A moving part, interlocked
Breaking glass and a ticking clock
A universe grinding at its gears

I trace it back to understand
A simple truth, a worker’s hands
Cradled me in chaos and saved me from the dark
I cannot say I know you, but I love your beating heart.

A golden thread, sewn through time
Made our lives so intertwined
Stardust melted into steel

In ‘45, we dropped our bombs
And now it seems, we get along
Who am I to break that wheel?

It takes so long to find the proof
To wind it back to a simple truth
I don’t know what I’m looking for
I know that it doesn’t matter anymore

I trace it back to understand
A simple truth, a worker’s hands
Cradled me in chaos and saved me from the dark
I cannot say I know you, but I love your beating heart.

A tiny spark in a machine
Helps me glide straight towards a dream
See the world before it disappears
Track Name: Ready to Run (Demo Oct 2018)
Pack your boxes and suitcase
Check the mirror for a new face
No more knocking on the door
It’s not locked up anymore

Leave some time do a sort through
Careful what you carry with you
All the lightning and the thunder
May make you stop and wonder, are you?

Ready to run, ready to fly
Ready to do or to do or die
Ready to leave the past behind
Are you ready?

It gets easier to learn
What to keep and what to burn
With a secret up your sleeve
Who to love and who to leave

It’s okay to be so scared
Just as long as you prepare
And stop to pray for help
Especially when you ask yourself, are you?

Ready to run, ready to go
Ready to find out what you don’t know
It might be fast or it might be slow
Are you ready?
Track Name: Rio Grande (FAWM Demo 2019)
I am not lost in sadness
I made my bed today
I chose some clothes and shoes to wear
I thought of things to say
Still I am confused how
You made your getaway

I was simply waiting
For gray to become green
I did not write the script
Where you left the scene
I’m riding out the seasons
On this turning time machine

I walked down to the water
I felt it in my hand
How does a raging river
Become a bed of sand
I do not understand

I might be lost in madness
As we leave this Golden Age
I wander in my room
I am measuring my cage
I see that you are fading
Like letters on a page

I walked down to the water
I heard a moving sound
I threw a stone across it
It hit the hardest ground
I find now that I have lost what I had found

I walked down to the water
I felt it in my hand
How does a raging river
Become a bed of sand
I do not understand

I understand that I'll never understand
Track Name: Day Old Coffee in a Cup (Demo March 2019)
I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup
I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough
As dull as diamond in the rough
As blank as a poker player’s bluff
As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood

As stretched as a string about to snap
As hard as a hand about to slap
As brittle as a bone about to break
As distant as a dreamer when they wake

I remember when we built that wall
We drew a line from here to there
We made it strong and tall
A year to make it long
A year to make it wide
A year for you to climb to the other side
I remember when we built that wall

As scarred as a tattoo on your skin
As hushed as a secret or a sin
As worn as your patience wearing thin
As sharp as a candle when it burns
As lonely as a lesson when it’s learned

As hazy as a memory when it fades
As heavy as the promise that I made
I held my heart out like a stone

As silent as a word we didn’t speak
now we’re strangers when we meet

These are the things I wish I’d known

I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup
I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough
As dull as diamond in the rough
As blank as a poker player’s bluff
As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood
Track Name: Day Old Coffee in a Cup (Phone Demo March 2019)
I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup
I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough
As dull as diamond in the rough
As blank as a poker player’s bluff
As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood

As stretched as a string about to snap
As hard as a hand about to slap
As brittle as a bone about to break
As distant as a dreamer when they wake

I remember when we built that wall
We drew a line from here to there
We made it strong and tall
A year to make it long
A year to make it wide
A year for you to climb to the other side
I remember when we built that wall

As scarred as a tattoo on your skin
As hushed as a secret or a sin
As worn as your patience wearing thin
As sharp as a candle when it burns
As lonely as a lesson when it’s learned

As hazy as a memory when it fades
As heavy as the promise that I made
I held my heart out like a stone

As silent as a word we didn’t speak
now we’re strangers when we meet

These are the things I wish I’d known

I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup
I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough
As dull as diamond in the rough
As blank as a poker player’s bluff
As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood