Meditations

by ellen cherry

subscriber exclusive
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I am free to make mistakes Thank you very much I am free to choose my path And the things i hold and touch I am free to lay aside The chains that scrape and tie me To bend and bear the heavy weight it is To be so free I am free to bind my wrist And refuse the hands of time I am free to separate What is yours from what is mine I am free to waste the precious hours That I have I am free to drink and dance and cry and play and laugh I’m free I am free I am free to change my mind As I change my clothes I am free to hide away In places no one ever goes I am free to sing when my the song commands me to I am free to take the steps And walk away from you I am free to float away Into the winter sky I am free to tell the truth Even if it is a lie I am free to burn it down Instead of letting go I am free to say good bye As easy as hello I’m free I am free
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please forgive me don't forget me always worry, don't you let me keep on breathing, keep on thinking always writing, always singing heavy burden, make it smaller chin up, back straight, walking taller! This is the dream of the frightened, the scared, the scolded, the badgered, the sad, the unprepared. Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare, but something dull that must be abandoned. looking inward, light is beaming only sleeping, never dreaming let the season pass you by let the knots become untied you might fear you're left behind had to be cruel to be kind. This is the dream of the frightened, the scared, the scolded, the badgered, the sad, the unprepared. Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare, but something dull that must be abandoned. keep on breathing, keep on thinking always writing, always singing keep on breathing, keep on thinking always writing, always singing keep on breathing, keep on thinking always writing, always singing something dull that must be abandoned
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Maybe I could spend two years Feeling sorry for myself Maybe I could shift the blame to someone else Maybe I could give my love away I'd give it all for free Maybe I'll forget again to save Some of it for me First I filled my own two hands with all these lonely tears Then I dug a canyon and filled it up with years After all that time the only thing I learned Was how to set a love on fire and how to let it burn Close your eyes Take my hands Hear these words Understand It's no lie There's no plan Fly like birds 'Cause we can Maybe you were wondering Maybe you might know How hard it was for me to stay how hard it was to go Remember when you said nothing? It came so easily Maybe you had changed the locks Maybe I lost my key Close your eyes Take my hands Hear these words Understand It's no lie There's no plan Fly like birds 'Cause we can Maybe I could think your thoughts Then worry you'd be right Maybe I could think all day and then I'd think all night Maybe I could spend two years Never standing still Maybe you'll forgive me soon Maybe you never will
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The local news said we were battered we were bruised All my friends with their hands over their heads Kiss the floor out in the hall While the wind Howls like an angry dog Outside the wall I never felt small It was fine it was good living neighborhood All the doors they were open and unlocked The television on with the Monkees on the screen Telling me that they believed This was the 1970s Ten years go And then ten more Spaceships explode We our lock our doors I could not stop the smashing crashing culture shock Like a storm twisting roots up from the ground It wasn’t only my hometown That felt chaotic, disarrayed and the rumble of a change So confusing and so strange My new address Same as before Oh what a mess We lock our doors Ten years fly And then ten more We don’t ask why We lock our doors We don’t ask why We lock our doors
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Walking On A Straight Line Oct 2018 I am sorry that I said that I am sorry So so many times You must forgive me as I wander On a path that is a circle In my mind. I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line As I always planned It never matters where I go because I always end up Just where I began Walking on a straight line The saddest soul you’ll ever meet Walking on a straight line Guess I’ll just repeat I have used up all my ink in writing novels of my wrongs and my regrets This is helpful to remind me and to never allow me to forget If I let go what would i do with all these hidden heavy bags of shame? They are my first place trophies to show you that I can be the winner of this game Walking on a straight line Sparked a flame so blue it burns Walking on a straight line It’s okay, i’ll never learn Walking on a straight line I could leave the past behind Walking on a straight line I roll the tape and I rewind I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line quickly as I can It never matters where I go because I always end up just where I began
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A moving part, interlocked Breaking glass and a ticking clock A universe grinding at its gears I trace it back to understand A simple truth, a worker’s hands Cradled me in chaos and saved me from the dark I cannot say I know you, but I love your beating heart. A golden thread, sewn through time Made our lives so intertwined Stardust melted into steel In ‘45, we dropped our bombs And now it seems, we get along Who am I to break that wheel? It takes so long to find the proof To wind it back to a simple truth I don’t know what I’m looking for I know that it doesn’t matter anymore I trace it back to understand A simple truth, a worker’s hands Cradled me in chaos and saved me from the dark I cannot say I know you, but I love your beating heart. A tiny spark in a machine Helps me glide straight towards a dream See the world before it disappears
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Pack your boxes and suitcase Check the mirror for a new face No more knocking on the door It’s not locked up anymore Leave some time do a sort through Careful what you carry with you All the lightning and the thunder May make you stop and wonder, are you? Ready to run, ready to fly Ready to do or to do or die Ready to leave the past behind Are you ready? It gets easier to learn What to keep and what to burn With a secret up your sleeve Who to love and who to leave It’s okay to be so scared Just as long as you prepare And stop to pray for help Especially when you ask yourself, are you? Ready to run, ready to go Ready to find out what you don’t know It might be fast or it might be slow Are you ready?
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I am not lost in sadness I made my bed today I chose some clothes and shoes to wear I thought of things to say Still I am confused how You made your getaway I was simply waiting For gray to become green I did not write the script Where you left the scene I’m riding out the seasons On this turning time machine I walked down to the water I felt it in my hand How does a raging river Become a bed of sand I do not understand I might be lost in madness As we leave this Golden Age I wander in my room I am measuring my cage I see that you are fading Like letters on a page I walked down to the water I heard a moving sound I threw a stone across it It hit the hardest ground I find now that I have lost what I had found I walked down to the water I felt it in my hand How does a raging river Become a bed of sand I do not understand I understand that I'll never understand
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I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough As dull as diamond in the rough As blank as a poker player’s bluff As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood As stretched as a string about to snap As hard as a hand about to slap As brittle as a bone about to break As distant as a dreamer when they wake I remember when we built that wall We drew a line from here to there We made it strong and tall A year to make it long A year to make it wide A year for you to climb to the other side I remember when we built that wall As scarred as a tattoo on your skin As hushed as a secret or a sin As worn as your patience wearing thin As sharp as a candle when it burns As lonely as a lesson when it’s learned As hazy as a memory when it fades As heavy as the promise that I made I held my heart out like a stone As silent as a word we didn’t speak now we’re strangers when we meet These are the things I wish I’d known I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough As dull as diamond in the rough As blank as a poker player’s bluff As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood
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I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough As dull as diamond in the rough As blank as a poker player’s bluff As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood As stretched as a string about to snap As hard as a hand about to slap As brittle as a bone about to break As distant as a dreamer when they wake I remember when we built that wall We drew a line from here to there We made it strong and tall A year to make it long A year to make it wide A year for you to climb to the other side I remember when we built that wall As scarred as a tattoo on your skin As hushed as a secret or a sin As worn as your patience wearing thin As sharp as a candle when it burns As lonely as a lesson when it’s learned As hazy as a memory when it fades As heavy as the promise that I made I held my heart out like a stone As silent as a word we didn’t speak now we’re strangers when we meet These are the things I wish I’d known I am as bitter and as cold as day old coffee in a cup I am as close as I can be. I am not close enough As dull as diamond in the rough As blank as a poker player’s bluff As drowned as a drop of water in a summer flood
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credits

released January 1, 2018

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ellen cherry Baltimore, Maryland

Emmy nominated singer/songwriter ellen cherry (lowercase letters intentional!) is a full-time touring and working performer based in Baltimore, MD. In 2017, ellen presents a new touring project called Portraits in Song that marries her love of storytelling and her passion for history through songs and portraits of interesting women in history to increase love and empathy for all. ... more

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