Get all 13 ellen cherry releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Recovering Eurydice (A Concert Recording || February 17, 2021), Collage, Home Movies {November 2016}--A Cyber Tour with ellen cherry and Andrew Grimm [TIP JAR], Portraits, The Thread, Whippoorwill Lodge, Live at the Creative Alliance, August 23, 2014, Please Don't Sell The Piano, and 5 more.
Excludes subscriber-only releases.
1. |
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I am sorry that I said that I am sorry, so, so many times.
You must forgive me as I wander on a path that is a circle, in my mind.
I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line, as I always planned.
It never matters where I go because I always end up just where I began.
Walking on a straight line:
The saddest soul you’ll ever meet.
Walking on a straight line.
Guess I’ll just repeat.
I have used up all my ink in writing novels of my wrongs and my regrets.
This is helpful to remind me, and to never allow me to forget.
If I let go what would I do with all these hidden heavy bags of shame?
They are my First Place trophies to show you that I can be the winner of this game.
Walking on a straight line;
Sparked a flame so blue it burns.
Walking on a straight line.
It’s okay, I’ll never learn.
Walking on a straight line:
I could leave the past behind.
Walking on a straight line.
I roll the tape and I rewind.
I could tell you that I’m walking on a straight line quickly as I can.
It never matters where I go because I always end up just where I began.
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2. |
The Bottom of the Stairs
05:49
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Sssssh
Quiet
Sssshhhh
Quiet
Shhhhhh
Quiet
Shhh
Quiet
The things I trashed in my distress
The hopes I smashed oh what a mess
There is time still to repair
If I step I upon the bottom stair
And if they sway or if they shift
This is no ordinary gift
A thank you rests upon my lip
I make it up another step
It makes me smile when I think how
I thought: Oh, I’ve reached the bottom now
I had miles left to go
My path lost in the snow
Sssssh
Quiet
Sssshhhh
Quiet
Shhhhhh
Quiet
Shhh
Quiet
All I trashed in my distress
My hope I smashed, oh what a mess
There is time to start repair
I step upon the bottom stair
And if they sway or if they shift
This is no ordinary gift
A thank you rests upon my lip
And I take another step
Sssssh
Quiet
Sssshhhh
Quiet
Shhhhhh
Quiet
Shhh
Quiet
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3. |
Queen of Spades
03:14
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Light a candle for the love we lost
And the love we threw away
I was crackling like a wire crossed
On a dark and windy day
Thinking about the things I said
And all I didn’t say
Even though it doesn’t matter
Write a letter that I’ll never send
To an address that never changed
Can we have a new love story
With words we rearrange?
I promise I can learn to bend
Just like I learned to stay the same.
Even though I know it doesn’t matter
We built a house of cards, with a losing hand.
Another year has closed its eyes
My days spent playing games
Losing was my alibi
It wasn’t me, it was the Queen of Spades
The way it feels to tell that lie
The way a candle feels the flame
We built a house of cards, with a losing hand.
Light a candle for the love we lost
And the love we threw away
I was crackling like a wire crossed
On a dark and windy day
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4. |
This Little Bird
02:39
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This little bird, without a word, starts a song.
You are the wire and you hum with desire to sing along.
How can you help yourself, you want her?
You cannot see the language of bees in the air.
Invisible things that you never had noticed were there.
How can I help myself? I want you.
How can I?
I know I help myself when I hold my breath and I eat my words.
But I can fly away:
Out through the window
And into the street
Onto the sidewalk
Where you and I meet
Up past the parking lot
where we first kissed
into the building
where i was dismissed
onto the stairwell
where you held my hand
up to the roof top
we make no demands
onto the lightning rod
put on your wings
here’s where we let go
everything
How can I help myself? I want you.
How can I help myself?
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5. |
I Don't Want To Know
03:19
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Last I’d heard
you changed your course
Rearranged everything
Just like i was hoping for
I don’t believe my eyes
Cause I trust my heart
You’d fall for anything
Walking home in the dark
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
You’d better bet your life
I’ve got a love unchained
No one we’ve ever been before
Stands in our way
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
Please tell me
You found your way
Please tell me
We didn’t break
So long since past
When we held hands
Tell me do you miss this
Tell me do you understand
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know
I don’t want to know (please tell me)
I don’t want to know (please tell me)
I don’t want to know (please tell me)
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6. |
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Please forgive me
don’t forget me
Always worried
don’t you let me
Keep on breathing
Keep on thinking
Always writing
always singing
Heavy burden
make it smaller
Chin up back straight walking taller
This is the dream of the frightened the scared
The scolded the badgered the sad the unprepared
Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare
But something dull that must abandoned
Looking inward light is beaming
Only sleeping never dreaming
Let the season pass you by
Let the knots become untied
You might fear you’re left behind
Had to be cruel to be kind
This is the dream of the frightened the scared
The scolded the badgered the sad the unprepared
Not a book or a bird or a gem that is rare
But something dull that must abandoned
Keep on breathing
Keep on thinking
Always writing
Always singing
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7. |
Weatherford Elementary
03:32
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Hey Tyler, meet me in the street again.
It’s 1981, and it’s 8AM.
We can walk together down the block to the school.
You’ll remember me and I’ll remember you.
Hey Tyler, why don’t you ask the teacher for a pass?
Or better yet, just meet me on the walk home after class.
We can kick the dust up underneath the monkey bars.
We can spend homeroom playing hooky and counting cars.
It was my favorite thing to do:
To walk right next to you.
Let me quiz you on the planets and the stars,
While we poke holes for lightning bugs, in lids of mason jars.
You can ask me spelling words, written on my list.
You can tell me secrets: what you want and what you wish.
It was my favorite time,
Walking with your hand in mine.
Do you recall the cloudless sky and the little games?
Or what you wrote inside my book next to our middle names?
I remember walking slow.
You were my favorite thing to know.
Hey Tyler, it’s 1981, it’s 8am.
Will you meet me in the street again?
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8. |
Runaway Train
04:36
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Call you up in the middle of the night
Like a firefly without a light
You were there like a slow torch burning
I was a key that could use a little turning
So tired that I couldn't even sleep
So many secrets I couldn't keep
Promised myself I wouldn't weep
One more promise I couldn't keep
It seems no one can help me now
I'm in too deep
There's no way out
This time I have really led myself astray
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded
I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train
Everything is cut and dry
Day and night, earth and sky
Somehow I just don't believe it
Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Bought a ticket for a runaway train
Like a madman laughin' at the rain
Little out of touch, little insane
Just easier than dealing with the pain
Runaway train never comin' back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there
Runaway train never comin' back
Runaway train tearin' up the track
Runaway train burnin' in my veins
Runaway but it always seems the same
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9. |
Maybe
03:31
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Maybe I could spend two years feeling sorry for myself.
Maybe I could shift the blame to someone else.
Maybe I could give my love away. I’d give it all for free.
Maybe I’ll forget again to save some of it for me.
First, I filled my own two hands, with all my lonely tears.
Then, I dug a canyon and filled it up with years.
After all that time, the only thing I learned
Was how to set a love on fire and how to watch it burn.
Close your eyes. Take my hands.
Hear these words. Understand.
It’s no lie: there’s no plan.
Fly like birds, ‘cause we can.
Maybe you were wondering, or maybe you might know,
How hard it was for me to stay; how hard it was to go.
Remember when you said nothing? It came so easily.
Maybe you had changed the locks. Maybe I lost my key.
Close your eyes. Take my hands.
Hear these words. Understand.
It’s no lie: there’s no plan.
Fly like birds, ‘cause we can.
Maybe I could think your thoughts. Then I worry you’d be right.
Maybe I could think all day and straight on through the night.
Maybe I could spend two years, never standing still.
Maybe you’ll forgive me soon. Maybe you never will.
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10. |
New Song of Love
05:15
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How could I let you be so mean?
How could I let you sleep next to me?
How I could I let you say those things?
How could I let you be so mean?
How could I fill a whole house with tears?
How could you close your mouth for years and years and years?
I want to write a new song of Love
I want to be proved wrong and not give up
I want to cut the diamonds from the rough
I want to write a new song of Love
I heard you found a good place to hide
Where you could watch the stars collide
Maybe you learned a new way to move
Maybe I finally told the truth
If I cut my lip with words
I’ll pretend it really doesn’t hurt
I want to write a new song of Love
I want far away to be just far enough
I want to make it through not just make it up
I want to write a new song of Love
And if you hear my voice you’ll know
That I’m letting go
I’m gonna write it all down by hand
I’m going to learn to swim in quicksand
I start to understand from the start
I’m going to write it all down by heart
I’m going to tangle close with fear
I’m going to learn to dance for years and years and years
I’m going to write a new song of Love
I’m going to be proved wrong and not give up
I want to cut the diamonds from the rough
I want to write a new song of Love
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ellen cherry Baltimore, Maryland
I am song & story Alchemist and I want to meet you at the intersection of creativity and recovery. While on tour in Texas, I was struck by an intoxicated driver which resulted in a violent wreck. Through my music and multi-media performances, I explore the pain and joy of recovering one’s body and spirit after extreme trauma. ... more
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